Who's The Boss?
by Northern-Southern Belle
Summary: Rumple agrees to take part in an auction to make money for the library if Belle buys him, but when Regina outbids her, he ends up her servant for the day, while a worried Belle spends time with Leroy, who didn't get a date. Her worry is for nothing as Rumple rebels and does his best to show Regina who's the boss in Storybrooke until he can leave and go back to Belle. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: Only plot belongs to me!**

"I need a favor," Belle said to Rumple as she came into the shop apartment after a long day at the library. "I know you're going to say 'No' to this favor once I tell you what it is, but it's so important to me and I'll do everything I can to make the whole situation more bearable for you if you accept."

"I don't know what it is yet, but I'm already nervous," Rumple told her and took her in his arms. "What is it that you want from me, Belle? Whatever it is, it's yours."

Belle looked up at him. "You're really promising me that even though you have no idea what I want from you?"

"Well, your promise to make it bearable, whatever it is, makes me more willing," Rumple said. "So what is it that you want from me?"

Belle blushed. "Well, the library needs a bunch of new furniture for the library and-"

"Do you want me to give you some money for it?" He asked. "Is that the favor you're embarrassed to ask?"

"No," Belle shook her head. "I could ask you that without trouble because I know you'd say 'Yes', but…what I really want is…for you to take part in an auction to raise funds for the furniture. Will you do it? Please? It wasn't my idea! It was Astrid's. She's been wanting to renew her acquaintance with Leroy for a long time and she thought this would be a good way to do it. I'm the emcee and we need people. Everyone will think of an outing and then people will bid to go on the outings."

"So let me get this straight," Rumple said, looking down at her. "You want to parade me around in front of a bunch of people so that they can pay money to go on an outing with me? I'm touched that you feel I'd bring in any funds at all, but I doubt you'd even get a penny for me. And it's because of that that I have to turn you down."

"What if I promised to buy you?" Belle suggested. "Even if it's not for much money, every little bit helps."

"All right," Rumple nodded with a smile as he kissed Belle's hair. "I'll do it for you. Even if I'll feel like an absolute fool."

"You'll be a cute fool, though," Belle reminded him as she hugged him. "Remember that."

"I'll try," Rumple promised. "But I don't know how long it will last."

* * *

"You want me to be part of a _bachelor_ auction?" Leroy asked Astrid as he set his beer tankard down. "I've done lots of things for you and all sorts of other people here: fought monsters, sold candles, got magic dust…but this…I don't know if I want to do this."

"Come on, please?" Astrid begged. "I'll buy you. You know we'll have a good time for sure! And it's not really a bachelor auction. It's a way for people to get to know others in Storybrooke that they don't usually talk to."

"Can't we just go out without all this auction stuff?" Leroy asked. "I don't even know if I'll get time off from working in the mines."

"Can you try?" Astrid asked. "Please?" She made her eyes as big as possible.

"Oh, all right," Leroy told her. "You got yourself a deal, sister. But this is the only time I'm doing this. Don't ask me again."

"Thank you!" Astrid smiled. "You're so sweet, Leroy. I really think this'll be worth your time."

"I have no doubt about that," he told her and went back to his drink as she headed back to the library, excited to tell Belle that she'd secured one more person for the auction.

"I think everyone will volunteer to do it," Belle replied.

"Does it feel weird to charge people to spend time with people they already see every day anyway?" Astrid asked. "I mean, the only way I could get Leroy to do this was if I promised to buy him."

"I had to do the same with Rumple," Belle replied. "I think we should at least try to keep our promises to them, but yes, we should encourage people to buy someone that they don't usually talk to. I think that's the best way to advertise it."

"Sure," Astrid nodded. "If you think people will buy that. Let's give it a shot."

* * *

That was the plan they decided to go with, just as they'd told Leroy and Rumple: that everyone would come up with an activity to do and the auction would involve people paying to do that activity with that person. And though Belle and Astrid had gone into it with the intent of having people spend time with someone they didn't usually talk to, they figured that since they were buying dates with people they were in relationships with, they wouldn't mention it and let people do what they would do as long as the library got money.

When Belle told Rumple, he was relieved. "That means I don't _necessarily_ have to look ridiculous by strutting around like a peacock," he said. "What a relief."

"Oh, come on!" Belle smiled and gave him a hug. "You already know I'm gonna buy you, so can't you show off _a little_? For me?"

"All right," Rumple nodded. "But just for a little bit."

"Thank you!" Belle smiled and bounced a bit. "Oh, I can't wait for this auction!"

* * *

Despite many reassurances that they wouldn't have to worry about being chosen by their sweethearts, there was a bit of a problem the day of the auction when Blue had called an emergency meeting of the fairies so Astrid was unable to attend, which made Leroy, well…grumpy.

"What am I supposed to do now?" He grouched. "Astrid's gone. Now I'm gonna probably be stuck with someone boring! Or awful! Why did I agree to do this?"

"Don't think of it that way," Belle tried to comfort him. "That's why I put you at the end; there could be a chance she'll get out early and still be able to buy you."

"I hope so, sister," Leroy huffed and pushed a corner of the curtain aside so he could stare out at the audience. "Cause I don't like to think of what would happen otherwise."

The auction went very smoothly and to Belle's surprise, things went just as she and Nova had wanted them to without them even saying anything. David had decided to have a good time with Killian, Snow with Ruby, Granny with Geppetto (Belle sensed that that was gonna end up as a date. At least she hoped so. They made a cute couple), and many other pairings that she hadn't expected. She found it interesting that Regina hadn't bought an outing yet, but maybe she just came to get out of the house. She and Archie were having some problems, and his constantly wanting to analyze what was going on between them was probably getting on her nerves.

Finally, just Leroy and Rumple were left.

"Okay, take a deep breath," Belle smiled at Rumple as she straightened his suit jacket. "I'll get out there so I can buy you."

"And I'll do some strutting for you," Rumple smiled.

Belle gave him a nudge then and the loud noise that had been coming from the audience suddenly stopped. "Well, this is encouraging," Rumple said under his breath as he strutted and Belle rhapsodized about his fine tastes and what sort of fine evening his magic could give to the lucky person who bought him.

But no one made any noise until Rumple slipped on a wet spot on the runway and nearly fell over until Belle reached out to catch him, leaving everyone to make a collective gasp.

"All right, all right," Rumple said as they stared. "I'm fine, that's enough. Let's get on with this, shall we?"

"All right," Belle nodded. "I'm going to start the bidding at…twenty dollars."

Rumple turned to face her looking hurt and she mouthed, "What? I have to afford it!"

There was silence after the opening bid was announced and Belle picked up her gavel. "Going once, going twice…"

And then a voice called out, "Just a minute. I'd like to up it to two hundred."

"What do you think you're doing, Regina?" Rumple called out. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"No," Regina Mills shook her head and stood up. "If you want proof, I can up it to five hundred. In fact, I think I will."

Rumple turned to face Belle and she looked at him helplessly. She couldn't afford that kind of money. Not even for the library's sake. "All right," she sighed at last and slammed the gavel down, leaving poor Rumple feeling like a prisoner who had just been condemned. "Rumple goes to Regina for five hundred dollars. And you actually have to give the money, you know."

"I do," Regina nodded and strode up to the front, quickly writing out a check. "Here you go," she said, putting it in Belle's hand.

Then, to both their surprises, Rumple popped out of the room.

"Oh, my god!" Regina huffed. "I knew he would try and make a run for it."

"Well, you can't really blame him, can you?" Belle asked as Regina lit out of the town hall after Rumple. It was much harder to catch him then she thought, but in the excitement to go see how it would turn out (Regina was chasing Rumple around and hitting him with her purse while Rumple shot magic at her that he said would turn her into a toad), Leroy was left standing on the stage.

"Don't worry," Belle said, coming up to him. "I'm sorry that Astrid couldn't make it back, but…you want me to take you out? I'd be more than happy to."

"Thanks," Leroy replied, giving her what on him would pass for a smile. "You got yourself a deal, sister."

* * *

"I'm really sorry you have to do this with Regina," Belle apologized to Rumple on the day he had to go to Regina's house and make good on her purchase. "I tried my best, but she just bid _so_ much and I couldn't compete with that."

"It's all right, Belle," Rumple assured her and gave her a kiss. "I only have to put up with her for the day and then we can have a nice dinner or something when I get back. And I'm sure you can find a way to occupy yourself in the meantime, can't you?"

"Well, I'll be able to for a little while," Belle nodded. "I promised Leroy I would take him out because Astrid was unable to tear herself away from Mother Superior, and everyone was so excited to see what was going on with you and Regina that no one bid on him."

"And I'm very sorry about that," Rumple sighed. "I didn't mean to ruin your auction. Just…the thought of being stuck with her…it was bad. I wanted to avoid it at all costs if I could."

"I really don't blame you," Belle agreed. "And it worked out all right in the end, so no harm done."

"At least not at the moment, anyway," Rumple sighed. "Check with me tomorrow and that might change."

"Oh, you'll make it out all right," Belle encouraged. "You have before. And surely, what she's going to have you do won't be so bad."

"I don't trust her further than I could throw her," Rumple replied. "But we'll just see, won't we?"

* * *

"Well, well, well, well, well," Regina smiled evilly when she opened the door and saw Rumple on the other side. "Look who's here! Don't dawdle in the doorway. I have so much I want you to do and there's such little time for you to do it."

Rumple stepped inside and squinted as he looked around. Something was very wrong. Like himself, Regina was a very tidy person in both her dress and how she kept her house, but now…now everything was a mess! Things were all over the floor, mud had been tracked on the tile, every surface that could be was covered by dust that was _at least_ an inch thick…it was a nightmare. "Looks like someone's housekeeping needs a lot of work," He remarked with a smirk.

"Oh, my housekeeping is fine," Regina replied. "I just made it like this so you'd have something to do with yourself for a couple of hours while I headed to my office to work."

"How can you expect me to be able to clean all this?" Rumple asked. "You know I can't move around very well. And I thought the whole point of you buying me was to give me a chance to see my grandson. That's what you said when I finally let you catch me."

"And you will," Regina nodded. "I promise you that. But you have to earn it first. Clean the house from top to bottom, and then you'll get a few uninterrupted hours to visit Henry, I promise. As for your mobility…" She waved her hand and gave a satisfied nod. "There you go. Put the cane down. Until you're done cleaning, you can move about quite easily."

"Well, that's very generous of you," Rumple spat, discovering that she wasn't lying about that. "But what's the catch? We both know that with such generosity, there's always a catch. The last time you were this generous to someone, it was your father whom you let live at the castle with you, and we know that he ended up dead at your hands." He grinned. "Do you remember that, Regina?"

Regina let in a sharp breath as if he'd punched her in the gut. "Don't you talk about my father. I did that because of you. You forced me!"

"Maybe I did," Rumple said, getting in her face and reaching forward to twist her dark hair through his fingers. "In a way. But you didn't have to use the power. All I did was give you the tools for your revenge and suggestions about what to do with them. The rest was your choice."

Regina's eyes narrowed. "Get to work," she said, slapping his hand away. "And I'll be checking up on you to make sure all this gets done by the time I return."

"Do whatever you want," Rumple told her, unfazed by the rage that he sensed was boiling up in her. "But it's not like I'm unaccustomed to hard work. Unlike you, I didn't come from money. And keep in mind, Regina: I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Belle and her library."

"Yes, I know," Regina told him, rolling her eyes. "You don't need to hit me over the head with that. See you in a bit. And I'd start with the toilets if I were you. They're in desperate need of attention." She then stood and laughed at him until Rumple felt himself getting impatient. Then he remembered he had legs and that he didn't just have to stand there and take her abuse. It was then that mid-laugh, he strode up to her and gave her a push so that she fell out the door and bounced down the front steps, landing in a puddle of rain that had accumulated there the night before.

"Have a nice day," Rumple smiled and then slammed the door behind him as she gave him a glare that would have scared anyone else out of their minds. But for him, it just meant that once again, he'd won. And that was all right with him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Belle was taking a tour of the mines with Leroy, after which, they would go to lunch at Granny's.

"You know, I've never been down here," Belle said as she looked around in awe. "It's a very different experience when you've spent all your time up top."

"Isn't it?" Leroy replied with a smile. "Not a lot of people want to come down here with me. I don't know why."

"It's definitely a good way to keep my mind off Rumple and Regina," Belle said. "What do you think they're doing now? Do you think she's hurting him?"

Leroy heard this and chuckled. "Oh, please. Don't make me laugh. In a battle royale between those two, I think he'd win every time, even if Regina comes close to beating him. You don't have anything to worry about."

"Well, I hope not!" Belle huffed. And she then tried her best to focus on making the time with Leroy worth his while. It went well until they got to Granny's and she saw Regina sitting alone at a table and eating, which brought back all her dark thoughts.

"You okay?" Leroy asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Belle replied. "Why don't we get lunch to go? I have an errand I need to do."

"You mean go spy on your boyfriend?" Leroy interpreted. "Can't you just call him?"

"No, that could be intercepted," Belle explained. "The best way to not be interfered with is for us to actually _go._ I'll make it up to you later, I promise."

"All right," Leroy nodded. "I need to see what Astrid's up to anyway."

"Well, there you go," Belle smiled. "See you later, Leroy. I had a good time!" She then scurried away to see Archie, who was between patients. "Good, you're not seeing anyone," She got out and tugged at Archie's arm. "You have to come with me. It's about Regina."

"What _about_ Regina?" Archie asked. "In case you don't remember, she's not really in the mood to talk to me these days." He sighed. "Try too hard to get her to stop using her powers and you really hear about it."

"And that's the problem!" Belle cried. "Regina bought Rumple at the library auction and I don't know what she's doing with him now. I'm worried! Will you come to her house with me and check on him? Please?"

"All right," Archie nodded. "But I really don't think there's anything to worry about."

* * *

When they reached Regina's place, she was in a really bad mood, and although there was no danger to Rumple at the present time, she assured them that there soon would be when she figured out where he'd gone.

"That…that…that..monster!" Regina cried and zapped away part of the roof in her fury. "I would love nothing more than to _kill_ him! He was supposed to clean my house, but he…he…" She let out an angry growl and kicked the sofa while Archie and Belle surveyed the piles of trash that still covered the floor.

"Now, Regina," Archie told her. "Bad housekeeping is no reason to want to kill someone. Remember what we said about calmly thinking through our actions before we-" He was cut off as Regina grabbed him by the collar.

"He took my son!" She said through her teeth as she shook a crumpled piece of paper with a smarmy note about going to see Henry on it. "He took my son when I specifically told him not to without a detailed account of his whereabouts and now I have no idea where Henry is!"

"Oh, calm down!" Belle told her. "This is Rumple we're talking about. There's only so many places he could be. I bet they're at the shop. Let's go there."

"Yes," Regina nodded with a grin as magic crackled from her finger tips after she left Archie go and he tried to get a breath. "Let's go there so I can have a word with Mr. Rumplestiltskin."

* * *

"Okay, Gold!" Regina called as she opened the door to the shop and stuck her head in. "Where the hell are you and where is Henry?"

"I'm right here, Mom," Henry said brightly from the other side of the shop counter. "What can I do for you? And thank you so much for letting Grandpa pick me up. It was a nice surprise."

"Yes, well," Regina calmed down. "It's no problem. I'm just glad you're safe. I didn't exactly have specifics on your whereabouts so I was a little worried."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Regina," Rumple said, coming out from the back of the store and coming to stand behind Henry, a wide smirk on his face. "I didn't mean to worry you at all."

"With that very abstract note you left me, how could I do anything else _but_ worry?" Regina asked, her voice deadly calm. "And how could you leave without cleaning up my house first?"

"I had better things to do," Rumple told her firmly. "And you can clean it up yourself. You have magic, don't you?" He stepped around the counter. "Oh, and by the way, I'd like to have my powers back, if you don't mind." He took her wrist, squeezed it tight, and looked her in the eye. "Please."

"Fine," Regina replied, trying her best not to wince in front of Rumple and failing. But when she gave them back, he was hit with such a strong spell that it sent him flying against the wall. "There," she said dismissively as Belle, Archie, and Henry helped Rumple up from the floor. "Happy?"

"Well, I'm in a better mood than you are, apparently," Rumple replied and tried his best not to wince as Belle handed him his cane.

Before she left, Regina said, "Come on, Henry. You don't have to be here anymore."

"Mom, I wanna stay if you don't mind," Henry told her. "I'll be home later tonight."

"Fine," Regina scoffed. "Whatever."

"I think I'm going to make another appointment for you," Archie said, following Regina out of the shop door as she let out a groan. "After today, I really think we have some issues that still need to be worked through."

When they were gone, Belle put her arms around Rumple and said, "You might not believe this but…the whole time I was with Leroy and you were with Regina…I was worried about you. Isn't that silly? I know you can hold your own against her."

"Yes, I can," Rumple nodded and took Belle in his arms. "Even so, it's nice to know there's someone out there who cares enough to worry despite that. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Belle replied with a smile. "And I don't think I'll ever let you go on a date with Regina ever again."

"I don't think I'll ever go on a date with Regina again either," Rumple told her. "We have a complicated history, she and I, and I think it's best for everyone if we stay away from each other unless absolutely necessary because we like to fight, and when we fight, innocent people pay the price, don't they?"

"Not always," Belle shook her head. "You and she are getting better about using your powers for the greater good. It's a process." She sighed.

"How much money did the auction make for the library?" Henry asked, breaking the silence. "Are you going to be able to get that new furniture?"

"Yes!" Belle smiled. "As a matter of fact, we are. Would you like to come with me when I go and pick it out?"

"Sure!" Henry nodded.

"And I'm coming too, of course," Rumple added. "I would say that I have a pretty good eye for furniture. But we won't tell your mother, Henry. We don't want another fight."

"True," Henry nodded. "But we can always go when she's in therapy. She won't be able to stop us then."

"That," Rumple said as he looked at his grandson fondly, "is a very excellent idea."

 **The End**


End file.
